My Struggle As A Perfectionist

I’ve always been a perfectionist. It’s always been a part of me. Even when I was little, my Barbies had to have matching outfits and the little rooms in their little house needed to be tidy. Nowadays, you can see it in my schoolwork and how undeniably spotless my room is. I’m a neat freak to the highest degree. I really can’t stand being a perfectionist sometimes. It’s a difficult way to live. You bring yourself down over the things most people wouldn’t give a second thought about. I often plan so much into the future that I neglect the present. Or rather, I neglect to enjoy the present. I never enjoy sitting down and taking a break. My mind floods with all the more productive tasks I could be doing. I’m terrible at being patient because of this. I feel like there is no “I’ll do this tomorrow”. In my mind it’s now or never. It’s really not much fun. For example, as I’m writing this my mind us swirling with what I need to do next, what I’ll do after that, and what needs to get done today. I may be able to click the off button, but it’s frustratingly temporary. So here I go again, spiraling into a cycle of futuristic thinking.

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